So today (like mostly every day) is filled with shoulds. I should look for a bathroom vanity. I should take the dogs for a walk. (They will like this very much.) I should phone my uncle to set a time to visit with my aunt in hospital. I should plant those lily bulbs and lay down some grass seed. I should start to work out. (Why do you think it’s called “work” out.) I should get some writing done. (Why ruin a two-year block with productivity?) Those last two are the kickers. I’m sure I’ll be able to avoid them with the purchasing of grass seed and hospital visits.
My strapping 19-year old son thinks we should write a tongue-and-cheek mother-son dating book together. Not mothers dating sons, that’s just creepy. No, kind of an advice dos and don’ts sort of guide thingy. I guess this means he either thinks I’m swell in this department or hysterically mirth-inducingly misguided.
I try to imagine what kind of advice I might proffer. (Like I know anything…)
Here’s one thing: your child’s boy-girl friend is a person worth getting to know. Maybe they will only be around for a week, but however long they are in your world, get to know them. Not bothering because they are only transient short changes you.
I look to Bernice Campbell as proof that this is possible. Bernice, a dear friend’s mother, passed last year, in her nineties. Until Alzheimer’s narrowed her world she was the sort of person you wanted to be around — funny, bright, insightful, creative. At her memorial I sat next to a delightful woman I had never met before. As it turned out, she was an ex-girl friend of Bernice’s oldest son from his salad years. By their twenties, the relationship was gone, but Bernice stayed in touch. A few years later when this woman needed a place to live in order to accept a new job, Bernice offered her own home. They became friends. Thirty-five years later, this woman was sitting next to me, telling me how important Bernice had been to her life. Not every fleeting sweetheart will end up a house guest, but there is a reason everyone touches our lives.
It takes a village people.
Jennings' Pennings 